Fear. Ugh. We’ve all experienced it. All of us, at one time or another have had those annoying, self-sabotaging, limiting thoughts that have stopped us from moving forward from eg. a broken relationship, or applying for the job we really want, or having that conversations we need to have, or pursuing the life we want for ourselves.
The irony of course is, that by having these thoughts, the very thing we want so much is the very thing we stop ourselves from getting! Yes – it IS as silly as it sounds!
But I’m going to let you in on a little secret – most of the time, the ‘fear’ we feel is not real. It’s built on ‘stories’ we tell ourselves based on our conditioning, our vulnerabilities and our past experiences. Don’t get me wrong. The conditioning, the vulnerabilities and the past experiences are indeed REAL, but the stories we tell ourselves about them – the ones that say, ‘you tried before and you failed, so why bother’ and ‘you can’t do that so don’t even try’, are NOT. They are self-defeating thoughts that are based on falsehoods.
We all stumble and fall in life. No one wins 100% of the time. But what I CAN tell you this – being reluctant to start something new, procrastinating, or feeling as though you’re going to fail even before you’ve begun, will not help you get to where you want to go. Staying in your comfort zone is not as comfortable as you tell yourself it is! Let me put it another way – what would give you more satisfaction – actually trying, or living with the regret of not even having a go because of fear?
So, next time fear of failure paralyses you to the point where you’d rather do ANYTHING except what you could be doing, ask yourself:
1. What’s holding me back?
2. How is my conditioning or past experiences influencing how I’m feeling?
3. If I wasn’t fearful, what would I do today to move me one step further towards my goal?
You deserve to try again and you deserve to start something new and wonderful. Most of all, you deserve to pursue whatever it is that makes you happy!
Fear may not be real, but your goals are. Start taking action today. You’ll be glad you did.
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