Okay now, let’s be honest. What woman reading this has not been guilty of comparing herself to another woman from time to time? Who hasn’t at one point or another sized herself up against a fellow Sistah? And who hasn’t secretly wished, “If only I was better/ more accomplished/ a more organised working Mum/ a more efficient stay-at-home Mum than her”?
I think it’s safe to say that ALL of us, (some more frequently than others), have succumbed to measuring our progress and achievements against other women’s .
But why do we do it? And even more interesting – why do we invariably feel that every other woman on this planet is doing a better job than we are? Because most of the time, it’s simply not true!
(Read this next bit slowly and carefully. Repeat as many times as necessary) Comparing yourself to anyone other than the person you were yesterday is a never-ending downward spiral of self-sabotage that ends up making you feel incompetent and ‘less than’.
Hardly productive thinking, right?
So what can you do to stop yourself getting trapped on this slippery slope to, ‘Now I feel more awful about myself than I was before’?
Start by asking yourself:
1. What purpose is comparing myself to others serving?….More often than not, we compare ourselves unfavourably to others because it subconsciously keeps us in our ‘safe zone’. It’s as if it justifies us not moving forward, because, hey, what’s the point! See how that’s self-sabotage?
2. What makes me unique as a pregnant woman, working mum or a return-to-work mum? What can I offer that no one else can?… If you can’t think of anything, think again! I guarantee there’s something that you have that no one else does.
3. What are my career objectives and what am I doing to achieve them?… I can assure you, the women you’re comparing yourself to had a plan and took action to achieve it. So can you!
4. How can I share and celebrate my own achievements?…. This is an important question because it creates positive intent and visualisation towards you meeting your objectives.
Most of all, let other women’s success INSPIRE you. There’s no ‘win/lose’ mentality here. Your time will come.
And remember, the more time you spend comparing yourself to others, the less time you’ll have to achieve YOUR OWN objectives.
Life’s hard enough without creating even more stress. So next time you find yourself thinking, “If only I could be more like her”, STOP. Take a deep breathe. Find in a mirror, window, puddle (it really doesn’t matter). Look at the AMAZING woman in the reflection and remind her of her unique gifts by saying, “Nothing compares to you.” Because it’s true.
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